I can explain every emotion life invokes in me…
but that doesn’t mean I’ve actually felt it.
There’s a difference…
between intellectualizing your emotions…
and actually feeling them.
And for a long time, I didn’t realize I was doing one instead of the other.
Because if you ask me how I feel?
I can tell you.
I can break it down.
I can explain:
what triggered it
where it comes from
what it probably means
how it connects to my past
I can make it make sense.
But that’s not the same as feeling it.
Feeling an emotion doesn’t require explanation.
It requires presence.
It looks like:
Sitting in it.
Not fixing it.
Not rushing to understand it.
Not trying to turn it into a lesson immediately.
Just… experiencing it.
And if I’m being honest?
That’s the part I’ve struggled with.
Because intellectualizing my emotions has been a form of control.
If I can understand it…
I don’t have to sit in it.
I don’t have to feel how heavy it is.
I don’t have to let it move through my body.
I can just… explain it.
And from the outside, that looks like self-awareness.
But internally?
It can create distance.
Because now I’m not feeling my emotions…
I’m organizing them.
And that’s where I’ve had to check myself.
Because I don’t think one outweighs the other.
I don’t think feeling is more important than understanding…
or understanding more important than feeling.
I think they’re both necessary.
But I’ve learned this:
If you try to conceptualize your emotions too quickly…
you can end up misplacing them.
You start labeling things before you’ve even felt them.
You start explaining things your body hasn’t even processed yet.
And now what you think you feel…
might not actually be what you’re feeling at all.
So for me, it’s been about learning balance.
Not choosing between the two…
but learning when to do each.
Feel first.
Then understand.
Let the emotion exist in your body.
Let it be uncomfortable.
Let it be unclear.
Let it be real.
And then…
once it’s moved through you…
you can ask:
“What is this trying to show me?”
Because understanding your emotions is powerful.
But only after you’ve actually experienced them.
🎧 Listen to the episode:
“Feeling vs. Understanding: Why You Need Both”
on Prayers and Cusswords
Where softness and survival coexist…
— Ashley Jaye
If this resonated…
I’m learning this in real time—
what it means to feel, understand, and not abandon myself in the process.
No filters.
Just truth.
